Category: Thoughts

It’s been three and a half weeks, and I’m still not sure I have the words in me to write this post. On the 21st of December 2021, my retired guide dog was put to sleep after being diagnosed with cancer. She was only ill for a very short time, but the tumour was very…

I haven’t written much about being trans, really. Partly because it feels so personal in a way that blindness does not, so I’m not really sure what I want people to know and what I want to keep to myself. But also because coming out has inherently involved other people. Each time I come out,…

It’s been six weeks. I’m counting. Of course I’m counting. When will I stop counting? Will it turn to months, and then years? Will I eventually move through another week without realising it’s gone? It’s like I’m supposed to have recovered by now. People want me to go out and be normal. And I am….

I miss my mum. Of course I do. Writing those words feels stupid and wholly inadequate because it’s obvious that I miss her and shouldn’t I have something more profound to say? But here we are. I miss her and it hurts and grief is not pretty. I just want to be able to call…

In recent weeks there has been a tension running through certain pockets of academia. It’s hard to say if this can be felt on campus, as I haven’t been there, but certainly online it is very noticeable. Some will portray it as a conflict between the rights of academics and the rights of students, others…

My mum passed away last night from cancer at the age of 68. Writing those words doesn’t feel real, as much as I know that they are. I want people to understand the person she was, as if somehow, the more people who know about her, the longer she will be with me. Although both…

You never remember your lasts. Perhaps you tell yourself that you will. Surely you will remember your last conversation with a person, last shared meal, last joke, or song you shared or book you read together. But will you? I thought I would. How could I not? My mother is dying. She knows this. I…

I’ve become familiar with anticipatory grief, the process of grieving a loss before it actually happens. I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d write about, but I’ve always found writing helpful for making sense of the world. When someone is really ill, time does strange things to you. In some moments it feels like…

I’ve been reading and thinking a lot lately about the systems that enable discrimination against certain groups of people. Of course I experience this discrimination as a disabled person, but disabled people are hardly the only group to find themselves disadvantaged and on the receiving end of unequal treatment. I started my life as an…

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about information deprivation. These aren’t new thoughts. As a blind person, I’m constantly denied access to information that other people take for granted. That denial isn’t malicious, it’s simply a result of living in a world that isn’t designed for people like me. There are lots of very important…