You Have ADHD Part 3: Journey to Diagnosis

I’ve talked about what life was like before my diagnosis, and the specific experience of hyperfocus as someone with ADHD, but I haven’t yet written about how I got a diagnosis of ADHD.

I was lucky that getting a diagnosis wasn’t hugely difficult, whereas it can be for some people. Like many things, it depends where you live and if a healthcare professional listens to you. Even so, it took me several years because picking up the phone to start the process was almost impossible for me to do. I knew I needed help. I knew the only way to get that help was to call the GP. I knew I had options of going private. And yet I couldn’t act on any of this knowledge.

Once I finally made the call my GP listened to me. She helped me fill in a questionnaire, and then she made a referral to a specific ADHD diagnosis service. The only issue was I heard nothing from them. Finally gathering some scraps of functionality together I called them, only to find out that their waiting list is two years. I knew that I couldn’t start a PhD and remain on track in that time without any support. And so once again I was stuck, knowing that I needed to explore private healthcare options but not having the ability to act on it.

It took another few months for me to Google private options, choose the first one I found that gave me a phone number, and call them to start the process. Thankfully their intake forms weren’t too complex, and after I paid them a ridiculous amount of money I had an appointment scheduled for just a couple of weeks later.

The psychiatrist who conducted my appointment couldn’t have been nicer. He asked me some questions about my behaviours and how they impact my life, and at what point they started. We talked about my childhood, but we also talked about my life today and the things I struggle with. He was very kind, and I felt like he really listened to me. At the end of our appointment, I received a diagnosis of ADHD combined type. This means that both inattentiveness and hyperactivity/impulsiveness are present.

Once I received my report, I knew I would be able to get increased support at university. Unfortunately, to get this I need to book an updated needs assessment. As yet, I haven’t been able to act on this, even though it’s five months since I received a diagnosis. This is one of the hardest things, to get the support you need, you need help to navigate the process. And you can’t get that help until you go through the process. So you end up stuck.

It was also recommended that I explore medication. In order to do this I needed several blood tests and an ECG. Again, it took me months to make the call I needed to, but finally I was able to call my GP to get those tests done. Once I had the results it took me a couple more months to go back to my psychiatrist and book another appointment with him. I had my appointment last week. It was fairly short and routine. We discussed the reality of medication and what it might do for me, and what it can’t do. We talked about the process of figuring out what type of medication I need, and I came away with a prescription. This needs to be posted out to me, but once I get it I will start medication.

This whole process has taken me years, since I first wondered if maybe I had ADHD. I’ve explained some of the ways I’ve struggled to access a diagnosis because of my ADHD, but I want people to understand that this is my daily life. Being unable to make phone calls, send emails, and act on information is a problem I deal with every single day. There’s so much I don’t get done because starting the process is too difficult. I ignore medical issues, or fail to register for events, or avoid social gatherings because the process of getting started feels far too complicated. The fact I get anything done is surprising. I know I’m unreliable, and I feel guilt and shame as a result. But I’m doing my absolute best, working with a brain that lets me down every single day.

I’m hoping that medication might take the edge off a little. It won’t “fix” me, nothing can. But perhaps it will keep me on track just a little more, and that might make the difference.

Other Posts in this Series

• You Have ADHD part 1: Life Before Diagnosis
• You Have ADHD part 2: Hyperfocus
• You Have ADHD Part 4: Starting Medication