I Took a Pregnancy Test and I Was Scared My Blindness Would Stop Me Reading the Results

When I was in my final year of university, I had to take a pregnancy test. I was embarrassed at the time and scared that the result would be positive. But most of all I was anxious that because I’m blind I wouldn’t be able to do it without other people knowing. I knew that I could call my GP and explain to them that I needed assistance taking the test. Perhaps, if I’d wanted a baby I would have done that. But I didn’t. I was scared and unsure what choice I would make if it turned out I was pregnant. I knew that sitting in the doctor’s office, I would feel pressured to know what to do there and then. Going to the doctor wasn’t an option.

I bought the test on Amazon. I Didn’t want to go to the shop and ask someone to help me find it, to hear them possibly judge me or be excited for me, assuming I was hoping for a baby. I was also scared that I wouldn’t be able to read the result. The older style tests that show a line are totally inaccessible to me. I knew that I could ask for help and that many of my friends would step up to support me as best as they could. But like going to the doctor, asking them for assistance would take away my ability to process the result alone.

I reached out to another blind person in private who I knew would give me an answer without judgement and I bought a digital pregnancy test. These tests show the words pregnant or not pregnant on a small screen, which can then be read using apps on your phone, although it’s not ideal. I was thankful that being part of the disability rights community had given me these connections. Who would I have approached if I was young, blind, and didn’t know people who could give me this information?

Even taking that first test was difficult. I bought a pack of two because I was so scared that I’d somehow mess it up. I had never seen a pregnancy test before, had never held one in my hands and felt how it’s constructed. So when it arrived I had to use instructions I’d found online and explore the test with my hands to figure out what exactly I was supposed to do. I felt like a foolish child, like I was playing at being an adult.

I wasn’t completely sure that I knew what I was doing, but I also knew that stalling wasn’t going to get me anywhere. So I took the test and anxiously waited the required amount of time. I remember how my phone shook in my hands as I opened SeeingAI, an OCR app, to read the results. I wasn’t pregnant.

More than anything I felt an overwhelming sense of relief. For most people taking a pregnancy test is simple and they know they can do it in private. Many disabled people are not afforded this most basic level of privacy. Whether we need assistance to buy the test, to take it or read the results the chances are someone else may have to be involved in the process. Thanks to technology this wasn’t the case for me. I was able to do it alone. If I’d had to ask it would have been embarrassing, but if I’d had to I could have gone to the GP or a sexual health clinic. But for others the lack of accessible options is dangerous.

What if you rely on your parents or a partner, and it’s a matter of safety that they don’t know? What if you will want an abortion and if your family know they would prevent you. These are the realities other disabled people face. This is why accessibility in the healthcare industry matters. It isn’t about doing something nice for disabled people, as some seem to think. It’s not an extra. It’s about our basic right to dignity, respect and choice.

A lot of people hear “accessibility” and they think about disabled people who want to access a new restaurant, or find a place to park their car. Of course all of these things matter, but it goes so much deeper than that. As a disabled person I have to give up my privacy in so many ways. Accessibility means being given the chance to manage our own healthcare in the best way possible, and that absolutely means accessing information like this and being given the time to process the results. If you work in the healthcare industry or are involved in biomedical engineering, you have a chance to change this. But there are things that every one of us can do:

• If you have some kind of connection to blind people, as a teacher or parent make sure that particularly teens are aware that there is an accessible way to take the test in private. It will save them worrying about it if and when the time comes.
• If you visit a sexual health clinic and notice that it isn’t accessible ask why not, and help disabled people push for change. Access to buildings may be a legal right but the reality is very different. And we need to access these services. Disabled people are routinely ignored when we ask for access to buildings and services, so please support us by adding your voice.
• If you schedule special education services and are tempted to pull a disabled child out of sex education because you think other things would be more useful, please don’t. It’s vital that we have access to this info and a terrifying number of disabled people don’t.
• If you notice that places like a rape crisis centre or refuge isn’t accessible please push them to change that. And help support the smaller services who can’t afford it to raise the funds. My situation was just me being careless, it was totally consensual, but disabled people do experience abuse at a much higher rate and we also have access to only a tiny amount of support services.
• If you think a disabled friend is in a situation where they may need to access these services but can’t without an assistant, try and step in if you can. This could be the difference between someone being able to access vital support and healthcare and not.

All of this is heavy. It’s complicated and can make people uncomfortable. But it’s reality for us. And I’m lucky that my access needs mean I can access most services, but it should never come down to luck. I often think about young blind people who are denied information about their body and the healthcare services they are entitled to. What would they do in my situation. This is why I speak so publicly about personal matters. I hope that those who desperately need this information may stumble across my writing, and that it might be the difference between them getting the support they need and not.