I was a teenager when I first read the Old Kingdom trilogy as it was then. I don’t remember quite how old I was, probably around 14 or so. I was lonely and awkward as many young people are, and books were the one constant I had; books were an escape from the uncertainty I…
Author: Connor Scott-Gardner
Something about Grief
It’s been six weeks. I’m counting. Of course I’m counting. When will I stop counting? Will it turn to months, and then years? Will I eventually move through another week without realising it’s gone? It’s like I’m supposed to have recovered by now. People want me to go out and be normal. And I am….
You Have ADHD part 2: Hyperfocus
I’ve always known that I was able to hyperfocus, though it’s only recently I’ve been able to describe it in those terms. When I hyperfocus, I focus on a project, activity, or even person to the exclusion of all else. That thing holds my interest and little else can break through. It usually comes on…
Review: The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang
I was not ready for this series when I picked it up. I bought the audiobook after having seen other people talk about it on Goodreads, expecting it to be good, but having no idea it would become one of my favourite books to have read this year. Title: The Poppy WarAuthor: R.F. KuangPublisher: Harper…
You Have ADHD part 1: Life Before Diagnosis
I recently received an ADHD diagnosis. This didn’t come as a huge surprise to me, in fact it was something I decided to explore because certain behaviours of mine seemed to fit with everything I’d read about ADHD, and the experiences of people I know. I decided to be open about this on my blog…
Ugly Grief
I miss my mum. Of course I do. Writing those words feels stupid and wholly inadequate because it’s obvious that I miss her and shouldn’t I have something more profound to say? But here we are. I miss her and it hurts and grief is not pretty. I just want to be able to call…
Good Intentions may have Unintended Consequences: My Response to the Letter Signed by Legal Academics in Support of Kathleen Stock
In recent weeks there has been a tension running through certain pockets of academia. It’s hard to say if this can be felt on campus, as I haven’t been there, but certainly online it is very noticeable. Some will portray it as a conflict between the rights of academics and the rights of students, others…
Remembering my Mum
My mum passed away last night from cancer at the age of 68. Writing those words doesn’t feel real, as much as I know that they are. I want people to understand the person she was, as if somehow, the more people who know about her, the longer she will be with me. Although both…
Each Last Moment
You never remember your lasts. Perhaps you tell yourself that you will. Surely you will remember your last conversation with a person, last shared meal, last joke, or song you shared or book you read together. But will you? I thought I would. How could I not? My mother is dying. She knows this. I…
The Grief Before they’re Gone
I’ve become familiar with anticipatory grief, the process of grieving a loss before it actually happens. I wasn’t sure if it was something I’d write about, but I’ve always found writing helpful for making sense of the world. When someone is really ill, time does strange things to you. In some moments it feels like…