I started to write this blog eleven years ago, when I was coming to the end of a tumultuous first year in a mainstream sixth form, after spending the first five years of secondary school at a blind school. I had recently turned seventeen and was filled with insecurities. I had high hopes for my…
Author: Connor Scott-Gardner
What Does it Mean to Forge a Body? Autonomy through Disability Cures and Gender Transition
I’ve always resisted the idea of a cure for my blindness. I’ve been asked about it plenty of times, shrugging off the possibility with an “it won’t happen for ages,” or “I’m just not interested,” when asked about it in person. My writing has delved even further into my feelings. How it makes me anxious,…
You Have ADHD Part 3: Journey to Diagnosis
I’ve talked about what life was like before my diagnosis, and the specific experience of hyperfocus as someone with ADHD, but I haven’t yet written about how I got a diagnosis of ADHD. I was lucky that getting a diagnosis wasn’t hugely difficult, whereas it can be for some people. Like many things, it depends…
Isla
It’s been three and a half weeks, and I’m still not sure I have the words in me to write this post. On the 21st of December 2021, my retired guide dog was put to sleep after being diagnosed with cancer. She was only ill for a very short time, but the tumour was very…
Coming Out and Feeling Lost
I haven’t written much about being trans, really. Partly because it feels so personal in a way that blindness does not, so I’m not really sure what I want people to know and what I want to keep to myself. But also because coming out has inherently involved other people. Each time I come out,…
The Politics of Braille
Braille, the tactile writing system used by blind people across the globe is a writing system which is easily identified as being linked with blind people and blindness. It may be the first thing, perhaps along with guide dogs, that people think of when asked what they associate with blindness. Yet the adoption of Braille…
Review: The Girl Who Fell Beneath The Sea by Axie Oh
I had high hopes for The Girl Who Fell Beneath The Sea and I couldn’t be happier to have started 2022 so well by finishing this excellent new fantasy about love and sacrifice and the lengths we will go to in order to protect those we love. Title: The Girl Who Fell Beneath The SeaAuthor:…
The Inevitability of Death in Garth Nix’s Old Kingdom Series
I was a teenager when I first read the Old Kingdom trilogy as it was then. I don’t remember quite how old I was, probably around 14 or so. I was lonely and awkward as many young people are, and books were the one constant I had; books were an escape from the uncertainty I…
Something about Grief
It’s been six weeks. I’m counting. Of course I’m counting. When will I stop counting? Will it turn to months, and then years? Will I eventually move through another week without realising it’s gone? It’s like I’m supposed to have recovered by now. People want me to go out and be normal. And I am….
You Have ADHD part 2: Hyperfocus
I’ve always known that I was able to hyperfocus, though it’s only recently I’ve been able to describe it in those terms. When I hyperfocus, I focus on a project, activity, or even person to the exclusion of all else. That thing holds my interest and little else can break through. It usually comes on…