A New Year

Condensing a whole year into a single post always feels like an impossible task. I will inevitably miss details that were important or events that had a significant impact on my life. One thing I can say is that last year felt like the most settled of all my adult years. I didn’t move house for one thing, which is something I couldn’t have said in any of the ten years leading up to it. I did leave my job, though I quickly found another, and the career change has had an enormously positive impact on my mental health.

While I’m not particularly successful when compared with some people, I feel that I achieved personal and professional successes this year, and I am pleased with every one of them. Changing careers was a necessary step, not just for financial security, but also to have the chance to progress within a chosen field in future. There are days when I feel frustrated at work, but overall I am happy and settled, I enjoy working with students, and I feel that when it is time to move on, I will have gained a lot from my current role.

I was fortunate enough to travel a great deal. In February I visited New York where I celebrated my birthday. Then in May and June I backpacked Europe, spending most of my time in Norway, Sweden, and Belgium. With the summer came the Paralympics and a quick trip to Paris to watch the judo and experience the closing ceremony in person. Finally, I finished the year by traveling with a group. First to Rome in September and then to Berlin in December, where I also spent a couple of days visiting Cologne on my own. This year solidified my love for solo travel and my need to spend a great deal of time alone, however I also discovered that I could enjoy the company of others, and there are experiences that are more enjoyable when shared.

Despite feeling restless and finding it difficult to pick up a book, I managed to read 48 of them, which was a huge surprise as I was sure I wouldn’t be able to read that many. I think the amount of time I spent on trains helped, as it gave me plenty of opportunity to read in peace. I have felt disconnected from reading in a way I haven’t for a long time, and I can only hope that this won’t last for too much longer.

A new year is a strange thing. We view it as though suddenly everything has changed, when really all we have done is moved from one day to another as we do every day. It is a convenient way to gather our thoughts and take a moment to consider the direction of our lives, and I appreciate that if nothing else. I have some tentative goals and projects that I would like to devote time to this year. I refuse to commit to them publicly, because I have a pretty terrible track record for starting a project and never finishing. It’s best not to get anyone’s hopes up.

On a personal level, I do want to push myself a little more, particularly how I engage with various communities. My local community, who I feel utterly disconnected from. Blind people, who I would like to spend more time with in person. I have considered volunteering, though what kind of volunteering I’d like to do I’m not sure yet. I also know that I need to walk a careful line between taking on things that will enhance my life, and taking on too much and being unable to do anything as a result. I’m starting to accept that my capacity for doing things is not as good as it could or should be. I’m not sure yet whether this is something I can change, or whether I’m stuck with this forever and will need to adapt to it. For now, I’m choosing to try and adapt, while also considering changes I can make to the way I do certain things to free up a bit more space in my brain.

That’s all I’ve got. I’m hopeful that this year will be a good one. More than anything, I hope that it will be nice and quiet. Please, don’t let these be famous last words.